You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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