so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
