it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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