Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
