apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
