Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
