"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
