You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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