Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
