I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
