I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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