Im at strip club and am horny
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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