Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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