singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
