Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
