I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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