Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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