Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
high people should be assigned attendants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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