My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
