I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
