so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
