Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
