$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
