I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
