I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
