i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
