I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
