but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
