I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
