your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
