I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
