Already got asked if we're dating
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
