are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
