he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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