I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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