i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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