The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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