Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
