You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
