i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize