Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
