Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
