sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
tell me about the eggs
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