I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize