His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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