non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
