In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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