I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
