party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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