Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The adults are the big ones right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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