Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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