He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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