dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
