Screwed.edu
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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