I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
