So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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