didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
