He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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