she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
did i walk over a car last night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
