I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
