Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
