just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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