The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this boner is exhausting
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
