dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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