If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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