Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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