somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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