I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
